Silent Treatment.

image

Doing my soul work lately God showed me how many times in my life that I’d been shunned, given the silent treatment, and ignored, and how that plays a part in my concept of “healthy”, how I connect with myself (an expressionist in many ways). Overjoyed to have such a loving relationship with Yahshuah, and trusting the timing of The Great Spirit that weaves this Life together so seamlessly. This is the perfect time for this in my life.

I’m very disappointed at how much I’ve kept under wraps in fear of being ignored, or called crazy. I’m more taken by how much I’ve attempted to get people to hear me or get me that have had no intentions to unless it totally benefits them. I think this my inner child’s way of trying to be truly validated, heard, and seen by my parents, so I attract, and apparently find attractive– people who invalidate and use the silent treatment for a false sense of power, and often for revenge. The silent treatment is the easiest tool to use to get back at someone without being outright, which is cowardly and evil. People that invalidate have no place in my life.

I am choosing life by  letting it go and healing! I’ll never be 5 again, so I choose to let go. I don’t know what will shift, but I am ready to fight for my own sanity and right to be happy, loved, heard and respected. It starts with me first. It seems that when you come from abandonment there’s like an invisible sticker on your forehead that says “Ignore Me” or “Invalidate Please.” It’s scary.

Some people lack empathy in this world, and that’s just reality. Whether it is because they like to (energy vampires) or they just don’t realize their ways…neither is my responsibility to decipher. My only responsibility is to heal old wounds & be wise.

As children we are taught to “stay in a child’s place” I’ve found myself still “staying in a child’s place subconsciously when it comes to relating with some people. The subconscious knows everything, this is so deep to me. I’m just elated to realize to surround myself with souls that want me to be invisible, or only visible when it’s something they want to hear and see is repeating a sick cycle that I can have freedom from if I choose to. I am thankful for my husband, loved ones and sisters and brothers who see where I have blind spots, and who deposit into me. For them I am rich. Not in numbers but in the abundance of loving energy they bring. But I am most happy that I have come to love myself back to life. It it is scary, and painful to undo, but I’m worth it.

Xoxo to US the sensitive yet relentless….💞 | Alysia

Rainy Day Love 💜

image

My mom made me this true red crochet bag some years ago and I’m so happy. ❤❤❤ I’m inspiration soaking in my “cleanup my closet campaign” today. It’s almost earth day..yay!!!! I am so ready to smell the grass!!!

The rain in DC is refreshing today. Listening to oldies, jazz, and happily has my windows wide open. Lol

……any plans for earth day? Any earth day artwork flourishing?

Xoxo | Alysia

My HeART Journal | 3.17.14

image

I always start my day with music…so I jammed per normal lol the mash up was some 90′s Janet, Zhane and more. I’m working on different color concepts and combo’s using watercolor paints on some unfinished wooden hearts (which both) I got from Michael’s craft store. I plan to stick some posts on them and wear them for earrings…my plan is to make some pieces for myself this spring. I have soooo many ideas. I did some fashion collaging today utilizing a 1971 issue of Ebony Mag, collage paper, acrylics, gesso and more.

My mixed media art classes, some awesome energy I was blessed to be in, and my trip to World Market with a kindred creative fueled and inspired me as well. Or rather my intentions created my surroundings, or God just smiled on me…either, any, or all. I’m happy. 🌼🌼🌼 I hope and pray you are blissFULL. Please share your blog in the comments if you are a creator, I would love to connect. I anticipate sharing my HeArt Journals. This is my first. I love it!

XoXo | Alysia

Occupy Pinnacle| Preserving the Work of Leonard P. Howell | Black History

 

Please join me in the Occupy Pinnacle Movement to keep up our lands and a preserve the work, and legacy of our forefather/Ancestor Leonard P. Howell and the ancestors of the Rastafari Community. This is essential to preserving our African History, within Rastafarian History and Culture. Please Support by donating or signing the petition! Pass this along to your loved ones! Get your Occupy Pinnacle Tee Shirts and Earrings to Support. It’s great to re-blog, like and re-post, but I’m moved to materialize. Black History only lasts as long as I, you, we preserve and it and own it by investing in it.

xoxo & Moved with Urgency| Alysia

Donate:

Rebuild Pinnacle, Restore Rastafari

In Depth Look at Pinnacle. Black History.

Donisha Prendergast

RAsta A Soul’s Journey

DSE SHORTS FILMS

Occupy Pinnacle Facebook Group

 

 

FEEL. |Connecting with My Inner Ambience

FEEL.

I thought I’d design with much passion, color, and PoP since the winter always gifts me with feelings of power and inspiration unlike any other time of the year, and I wish that these were the only things the winter brings for me since I am a winter soul, but this time of the year also brings out some deep unpleasantness, some unease, some sadness, due to shedding old spiritual skin. It makes perfect sense, given that the wisdom from our ancestors teach that winter is time of inner reflection, connecting with our truest state of being,  and letting go of what no longer serves us.

In my view  we don’t live in the most emotionally healthy, or supportive society here in the western world, and so because of this revelation first from The Most High, and confirmation from resources that I am blessed to have come across I’ve found this newfound journey to getting in touch with my true feeling very exhausting, and I now see how much I have detached myself from them in winters past because subconsciously I just didn’t feel like doing the work of recognizing, truly feeling, and accepting them. Closing doors, and changing light bulbs spiritually is WORK. It is easier to act like a robot, and just walk around pretending to be unaffected by things (both pleasant and unpleasant).  I now know it’s ok to feel what I feel, to be intuitive, and to accept my imperfect, complex self COMPLETELY. It is ok to detach from what doesn’t serve me, and thus doesn’t assist me in serving. Saying no to some things, which frees me to say yes to what’s best. This means shifting, shifting, and more shifting. Life won’t be easy, and it won’t be familiar. I’ve never done this before so I am going to make mistakes, and I’m going to lose, and I’m going to gain.  I want to remain true to who I am and move forward creating a better world for my spirit to be free as God intended.  After all nothing is hidden, we just think we can hide. Society has taught us to try and hide, because it’s “easier” for us to assimilate that way and not “bother” one another, and keep to “business” at hand. The only business I have is being in tune with myself and my Creator.

I know I’ve done myself a great disservice by not trusting my own inner nudges when things didn’t feel right for me, and  I have often waited for some additional reason to be happy than just being happy and doing what brings me pure bliss & joy.  In the name of “waiting on God to show me” I’ve waited in vain. I no longer hold myself hostage in a shame and fear based belief system thinking I’m doing God a favor, by giving into my own fears and insecurities. I still deal with abandonment issues, and I know this is the root of this tree. It has taken 31 years to grow so I have lots of work to do but I am committed to myself. Even if I am wrong, I can ask for forgiveness. God is the same today, yesterday and forever. He never intended for me to ignore and neglect myself. If nothing else I’m clear that it is for my mental, physical and spiritual health to FEEL. This is what my God-given senses were created to do. I have a right to own what I feel. No more self guilt trips for feeling, whether that’s bliss or the depression. God lights my path, and when I fall He is always there to pick me back up not to sit me in a far-off place and judge me but to hold me, dust me off, reveal to me another lesson to share, and reassure me of the depths of divine love. I am connecting with my inner ambience because I am FREE to be ME. 💝

xoxo| Wishing you Self-Acceptance & Patience

 Alysia.

1.1.14 | AU COURANT

1114

 

AU COURANT : adj. [french]  up-to-date.

literally: in. the. current. :)

Ok ..well of course I want to update you, and say Happy coming New Year (it’s in 6 more days!) MY Birthday btw :) and more..

I’m beyond excited I got the class syllabus for my mixed media art courses earlier this week! I’m not sure what this means for herheartmatters.net, but sharpening my gift will only increase what I’m able to share. How often, and how much is what I can’t figure now.  I created the above polyvore set using  Kelis, Charlotte Olympia, and Moschino. I went with black and white because my posture going into this 2014 is Acceptance.  Black and white both are colors of absolutes. What’s your soul posture?

“Clearly, all fear has an element of resistance and a leaning away from the moment. Its dynamic is not unlike that of strong desire except that fear leans backward into the last safe moment while desire leans forward toward the next possibility of satisfaction. Each lacks presence. (29)”
― Stephen LevineA Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last

xoxo & Happy 2014❤| Alysia