Doing my soul work lately God showed me how many times in my life that I’d been shunned, given the silent treatment, and ignored, and how that plays a part in my concept of “healthy”, how I connect with myself (an expressionist in many ways). Overjoyed to have such a loving relationship with Yahshuah, and trusting the timing of The Great Spirit that weaves this Life together so seamlessly. This is the perfect time for this in my life.
I’m very disappointed at how much I’ve kept under wraps in fear of being ignored, or called crazy. I’m more taken by how much I’ve attempted to get people to hear me or get me that have had no intentions to unless it totally benefits them. I think this my inner child’s way of trying to be truly validated, heard, and seen by my parents, so I attract, and apparently find attractive– people who invalidate and use the silent treatment for a false sense of power, and often for revenge. The silent treatment is the easiest tool to use to get back at someone without being outright, which is cowardly and evil. People that invalidate have no place in my life.
I am choosing life by letting it go and healing! I’ll never be 5 again, so I choose to let go. I don’t know what will shift, but I am ready to fight for my own sanity and right to be happy, loved, heard and respected. It starts with me first. It seems that when you come from abandonment there’s like an invisible sticker on your forehead that says “Ignore Me” or “Invalidate Please.” It’s scary.
Some people lack empathy in this world, and that’s just reality. Whether it is because they like to (energy vampires) or they just don’t realize their ways…neither is my responsibility to decipher. My only responsibility is to heal old wounds & be wise.
As children we are taught to “stay in a child’s place” I’ve found myself still “staying in a child’s place subconsciously when it comes to relating with some people. The subconscious knows everything, this is so deep to me. I’m just elated to realize to surround myself with souls that want me to be invisible, or only visible when it’s something they want to hear and see is repeating a sick cycle that I can have freedom from if I choose to. I am thankful for my husband, loved ones and sisters and brothers who see where I have blind spots, and who deposit into me. For them I am rich. Not in numbers but in the abundance of loving energy they bring. But I am most happy that I have come to love myself back to life. It it is scary, and painful to undo, but I’m worth it.
Xoxo to US the sensitive yet relentless….💞 | Alysia